The more negative you feel, the more reason you have to quickly get yourself into a positive frame of mind. It will truly and reliably work wonders.

Flag Counter started April 3, 2008

While I was seeing Richard off for a meeting, I noticed the sunset was nice and the neighbor’s cattle were just in line to make the photo even better.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.  In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

***

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.  But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, and if that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favourite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

On our way from Princeton back to Elkins to speak on Saturday, we went over the New River Bridge, the world’s second longest single-arch steel span bridge. At 876 feet above the river, it is America’s second-highest bridge. Richard and I have been on America’s highest bridge which is over the Royal Gorge in Colorado!

It was lightly raining and the main boardwalk was ice-covered and so closed. We were able to get to one overlook point and take a nice photo.

The photo above is from the ranger station looking out over the New River downstream of the bridge.

I knew there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight, but I had been confused about the timing. I had thought it wasn’t until 3 am, and I wasn’t about to get up and photograph it then! However, on the drive home from the meeting tonight, I saw that it was happening right then! When we got to the hotel I quickly get my camera on the tripod and went out to see how I could do. It was lightly snowing, so I had to cover my lens with my hand between shots to try and keep it clear of snow! I wish I could have got a shot while clouds were crossing over it, but I never was quick enough to get it right. It seemed odd that it was snowing, yet the moon remained, for the most part, clear. Richard and I really enjoyed the evening. Even though we were in a hotel parking lot, there weren’t any other people around and it was so neat to watch the eclipse in the light snow!

9:37 pm

9:47 pm

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Saturday before Richard and I left the weather forecast for our area was lovely with temps in the 50s-60s. Well, that all changed, and now they are calling for an ice storm Thursday and Friday back home! Luckily, we did what my Dad recommends. We prepared for most any contingency, and then set up a plan for the kids to follow based on our best guess at the time which we could then change at any moment. It looks like it’s going to need to be changed. Oh well, who knows, they might be wrong about the ice storm!