|
Twas the night before Christmas
(revisited!) |
|
|
Twas the night before Christmas |
The stockings were empty, |
| The children were nestled All snug in the beds, While the horrors of assembling Danced in our heads |
Dad armed with a screwdriver, Ready and poised To build a red trike For one of our boys. |
| When off in the hall There arose a strange noise We dove over boxes To hide all the toys |
Back to his task, Dad cursed at his mess I suspect he was lost, But he'd never confess |
| He wrestled with parts And fumbled with tools, Emailed the manufacturer And called them all fools. |
After hours of struggle, The bike finally took shape, With a few cuts and bruises And the aid of duct tape |
| He stood back and gaped At the bike he just built It weaved and it wobbled And rolled with a tilt |
His frustration grew; His voice shook as he spoke "The directions are Greek, It's all a sick joke" |
| At this point he snapped, His thinking unclear He'll do something stupid; This was my big fear. |
He
grabbed each toy's instructions, Oh why won't he learn, Tossed them into the fire, Chanting "burn baby burn" |
| "Burn Disney, burn Huffy, To blazes with you Burn Fisher Price, Playskool and Hasbro, too" |
As smoke filled the room, This was his first clue That in a moment of haste, He had neglected the flue |
| To the top of the mantle, to the top of the wall A black cloud developed And ash settled on all |
Soot landed on stockings And covered the tree And gave a look of charcoal To all we could see |
| The firemen came, This wasn't going to be fun Seems the neighbors saw smoke And called 9-1-1 |
Out came the axe, Out came the hoses Out came a Dalmatian Who trampled my roses. |
| "There's no trouble here," I swore up and down Realizing this faux pas Would soon be 'round town |
"My husband's a good man," I tried to explain "The instructions weren't clear. It drove him insane" |
| The fire chief nodded And gathered his crew Hopped onto their truck And away they all flew |
But I heard them converse As they drove out of sight "Her husband's the third jerk Who's done that tonight!" |
|
|
|
