'Twas The Night Before A Redneck Christmas(Read from left to right) |
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'Twas the night before Christmas |
His first name was Bubba, |
| His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care, And therefore there was a foul stench in the air. |
From out in the yard There came such a noise That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys. |
| There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11; Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7. |
John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3: The twins were both girls So they let them be. |
| They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt, Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk. |
They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall. There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all. |
| Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll! The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw." |
Maw was expecting And needed her sleep, So out they crept out the door Without making a peep. |
| They all looked around, and then they all spit. The young'uns asked Bubba, "Paw, what is it?" |
Bubba just stared; He could not say a word. This was just like all of The stories he'd heard. |
| It was Santy Claus on the roof, Darn tootin' But the boys didn't know; They was about to start shootin'! |
They aimed their shotguns and nearly made a mistake That would have resulted in venison steak. |
| Bubba hollered out, "Don't shoot, boys!" That's Santy Claus And he's brought us some toys. |
The dogs were a-barkin' And a-raisin' cain, And Bubba whistled, and shouted, And called them by name. |
| "Down, Spot! Shut up Bullet! Quiet, Pete and Roscoe! Git, Turnip and Tater and Sam and old Joe!" |
"Git down from that porck! Git down off that wall! Quit shakin the trailer, Or you'll make Santy fall!" |
| The dogs kept a-barkin' And wouldn't shut up, And they trampled poor Pete Who was only a pup. |
Santy opened his bag, And threw out some toys. Bubba got most, But left a few for the boys. |
| From up on the roof Santa heaved a great sigh. Since the guns had been dropped He just might not die. |
He jumped in his sleigh, Told his reindeer to hurry. The trailer started to wobble Santa started to worry. |
| Just as the reindeer Got into the air, The trailer collapsed, But Bubba didn't care. |
He was busy lookin' At all his new toys. Then a thought hit him, And he said to the boys: |
| "Go check on yer Maw, Make sure she's all right. That roof fallin' on her Could-a hurt just a might." |
But Maw was OK, And the girls were too. They fixed up the trailer; It looked good as new. |
| And as for Bubba, He liked Old St. Nick, But Santa thought Bubba Was a pure-in-tee hick! |
Bubba had a nice Christmas, And the boys did, too. And the Taylor's wish A Merry Christmas to you! |
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